Seeing the Beauty

 Here is a photo that I captured during an adventure walk (as I like to call it) in DeFuniak Springs, Florida. I'm sure there are people that think this is tacky and would question why someone would waste the time, but a person such as myself can find the beauty and depth of it.

 The same can be said about people. For instance, the man or woman on the street holding the sign asking for help. To the majority, these people are just homeless beings that amount to nothing. To God they are just as important as you or me; he finds the beauty in them.


Romans 12:17-18 " Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

Here and Now

I dreamed of fire last night. Not quite sure what it means, but it was beautiful. I could even feel the heat and smell the smoke. There was a woman crying out; no one would help her, I willed myself to where she was, hoisted her gently over my shoulder and carried her to safety. Dreams are so strange; how can I have a completely different life during one part of my day and then close my eyes only to become part of a magical world where anything is possible? That is why I love to sleep. Not because I am depressed, or because I hate my life; I love who I can be and what I can do in my dreams.  I can leave my hang ups and hindrances at the pillow. I save loved ones from peril and send demons back to where they belong. All in all, I feel like a super hero. 


Now, I need to start learning how to do this in my waking hours.


I'm going to hang my hurts and fears with God- he is more than able and will to do so for me and anyone else that chooses to give up their baggage. These issues are not meant to be part of a person... they are the products of not focusing on the Lord. When a person (myself included) take their eyes off of Him- a void forms. We as humans fill that void with earthly desires that are often failed attempts which create the fear and failure.


I John 4:17-18  "In this way love is perfected among us, so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him.  There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love". 


In the words of Barney Stinson, "Suit up." 


Ephesians 6:10-18 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people."


It is time. Here and now.

Close Calls

I must have been in a daze because all of the sudden the car in front of me on the highway is at a dead stop but I am still cruising at a steady 55 mph. THINK QUICK! I swerve into the other lane and barely avoid messed up front end and a guaranteed traffic violation. If you can believe it- I still had the sense to use my blinker and strangely enough there wasn't any traffic in the other lane... coincidence? My life is a bunch of close calls all strung together. For example, while in California a couple weeks ago I had a similar situation. While merging onto hwy 78 from Oceanside to Vista I was almost run off the road by a truck pulling a 5th wheel. The only thing that saved me was my quick reflexes- or was it me at all? When these situations happen- time slows- I can't explain it but I have time to actually think about what I need to do. Is it like this for anyone else? Apparently not for everyone, or there wouldn't be traffic accidents, or accidents at all for that matter. 

What I know for sure is that I pray at stop lights.  It's been a strange habit I have had since I started driving. It started out as a way to get over my fear of driving alone. I knew that I could just 'talk' to God and he was with me always. Over time I started driving more and more on  highways without stop lights, so praying became more sporadic. My fears went away and I kind of set God in the trunk so to speak. Just about the time I get comfortable with that arrangement I have a close call. What happens then? Yup, I pray.

I believe that God uses all resources to give us the chance to come to him- he doesn't necessarily make the situations happen, but he allows them. Close calls are a great way to remind us that he is there always- through the good and the bad... makes me think of Carrie Underwood's song, Jesus Take the Wheel. I know he won't physically drive my car, but most certainly I want him to be in the front seat of my life to hold my hand when the road gets rough.

 

What Do I Know?

As I stated yesterday I know that God is at work in my life. I feel as though I am the city that is falling apart in the movie Inception, but I know that somethings must be destroyed in order to create new. A dear friend of mine set a challenge yesterday based on Brennan Manning's book, A Furious Longing of God. I feel the challenge couldn't have come at a better time. One doesn't usually sit and think about these sorts of things and it is harder than one would think; I haven't ever thought of this view before. It is truly amazing the differences that are in the two lists. Who I am and who people see me as are two completely different people.

What I know about me-

What People See:

1. Is friendly to everyone (sometimes can be misconstrued as flirting).
2. Gets uncomfortable when serious discussions arise.
3. I talk way too much.
4. I stumble over my words or often can't think of a word when talking.
5. I open the doors for people.
6. I love thrift stores and do most of my shopping there.
7. A very happy person.
8. Act as though I don't have a care in the world.
9. Constantly experimenting with hair color and fingernail polish techniques.
10. I feel very strongly about animal rights and renewable resources.


What People Don't See

1. I struggle with accepting myself.
2. I spend too much time dwelling on things- past and present.
3. The creativity that I am afraid to share.
4. I struggle with anxiety.
5. I cry at the silliest things- and can't cry when I really should.
6. Change scares me.
7. I sing at the top of my lungs when I'm home alone.
8. I dance to my heart's content when no one can see me.
9. I am truly afraid of judgement
10. I am always seeking approval from others.


2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but all shall reach repentance." 

Worry

I awoke to a sudden feel of panic thinking that I needed to be leaving for work in only a few short minutes. I'm sure we've all experienced that situation. On top of that, my dreams were not exactly cotton candy clouds and unicorns; my husband was fired from his job and everything we have worked for was gone in an instant. Now, my husband hasn't been fired from his job (yet) and I am not late for work, as I have just started my own business venture, but the panic and worry are very real.


Something my husband said to me yesterday when we decided that I am going to start up my own business that I didn't quite get he said, "Don't freak out." At first I took offense to what he was saying and tried to say that I don't freak out... anymore, but now that I think about it I am the one that does freak out if one thing is out of place, we are a dollar short in the bank, or if the laundry has a strange crease. All this time I thought I was a creature of change and completely laid back. Wow, hasn't my view of myself  been completely skewed. I always thought that worry had to do with big things like children not coming home when they say they will, or waiting the test results on that lump. Worry has become something that I am all consumed by- even the smallest of thoughts are ruled by worry. I worry if I don't get up on time I won't have time to sit on the computer and check my email or social media site. I worry that if I don't make that traffic light I am going to be running behind. I constantly obsess over the keeping a constant schedule that keeps me busy every second of the day; I worry about what others are going to think of me if I am found sitting on the couch watching worthless television shows. Even up until the minute I fall asleep I am thinking that if I don't get enough sleep I am going to have a terrible next day. I wonder how much time I have wasted worrying. In fact, I can only imagine that it would be an astounding number. I have got to learn how to stop this and learn to just, "Let go, and let God" (yes, my reference from yesterday). 


I found a couple of really great Bible verses that speak volumes to me. 


Matthew 6:25-27  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

This to me says that I have wasted enough time worrying- it's not going to help me live any better, or any longer, and that life should be lived spiritual more than physical. I may as well enjoy the time I've got and breathe.


Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Looks like I have some work to do. I can't help shake this feeling that I am doing some serious inner review on myself and God has a front row seat. I am ashamed to admit that my life has to start falling apart for me to turn to him, but it also makes me wonder if it is falling apart so I do turn to him. 

Failure isn't an option

I've been wrestling with the thought of starting my own business now for a couple of years. I haven't done it because I was under the impression that one must first have a ton of cash and that I had to be a college graduate. Well, now doesn't that just make me sound silly! If I had lots of money and was a college graduate I probably wouldn't need to start my own business. All I really need is the confidence. You see, I have this problem. I look to others for approval as a false sense of confidence. This is something I have just recently realized about myself and happens to be something I didn't want to see, but something I need to deal with. For instance, I would clean and organize a closet and beg someone to look at it just so they would say it looked great. So, for me to start my own business means I have to lose that baggage. 


I want to be able to put my kids through college and take trips to see my family. I want to make my own hours, be my own boss, and be responsible for my own actions. I want to be successful and proud of what I do and who I am without the need of approval from anyone else.


Anyway...

I have decided to chase my dreams, so to speak. To take that advice that pastor once gave to "Let go and let God."

There is no such thing as failure.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.