Don't be Sorry- Learn to Breathe

The word Sorry is offensive to me. The definition of the word is this, "Feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.: to be sorry to leave one's friends; to be sorry for a remark; to be sorry forsomeone in trouble."  My mother put so much emphasis on the word that it became worse than any swear word in my world. No matter what happened, I was expected to say sorry (and mean it). How can a child mean something that they don't even know the meaning of!? The word was over used and many times as a bandaid- instead of assessing the situation and trying to confront it, sorry would be spoken and it would be as if nothing ever happened. 


As I've gotten older I've all but banished sorry from my vocabulary- it is reserved for one instance only- death. Instead of saying that blasted word, I offer the advice of, remember to breathe. Those three words of advice are the basis to surviving any catastrophe without discounting the severity of a problem. You may ask how it is possible that those words hold so much power... well- it is just saying to stay alive. As long as you are breathing, the situation can be taken care of.


 I have grown tired of offering apologies for something that I have no control over. Apologies feed the severity and most of the time you get sucked into the drama allowing one to become a victim of that person's distress (I am not speaking of drama in a derogatory fashion). Here's a great example of how it really works. The other day my sister called me to tell me that her boyfriend's mother had a medical emergency; she was quite upset about not being able to get up to see her. My first instinct was to say how sorry I was, but I didn't cause the issue- I am not the one that made it impossible for my sister to travel. So, I instead suggested that she should just stop for a moment and breathe. By doing so, I was able to avoid being sucked into the problem and was able to help her climb out of a mental meltdown. When she stopped to think about the entire situation she was able to see that it wasn't an end of the world scenario and that things would indeed be okay. 

 I am learning to breathe instead of feeling regret; I am learning to live in love and to just let things be.