Worry

I awoke to a sudden feel of panic thinking that I needed to be leaving for work in only a few short minutes. I'm sure we've all experienced that situation. On top of that, my dreams were not exactly cotton candy clouds and unicorns; my husband was fired from his job and everything we have worked for was gone in an instant. Now, my husband hasn't been fired from his job (yet) and I am not late for work, as I have just started my own business venture, but the panic and worry are very real.


Something my husband said to me yesterday when we decided that I am going to start up my own business that I didn't quite get he said, "Don't freak out." At first I took offense to what he was saying and tried to say that I don't freak out... anymore, but now that I think about it I am the one that does freak out if one thing is out of place, we are a dollar short in the bank, or if the laundry has a strange crease. All this time I thought I was a creature of change and completely laid back. Wow, hasn't my view of myself  been completely skewed. I always thought that worry had to do with big things like children not coming home when they say they will, or waiting the test results on that lump. Worry has become something that I am all consumed by- even the smallest of thoughts are ruled by worry. I worry if I don't get up on time I won't have time to sit on the computer and check my email or social media site. I worry that if I don't make that traffic light I am going to be running behind. I constantly obsess over the keeping a constant schedule that keeps me busy every second of the day; I worry about what others are going to think of me if I am found sitting on the couch watching worthless television shows. Even up until the minute I fall asleep I am thinking that if I don't get enough sleep I am going to have a terrible next day. I wonder how much time I have wasted worrying. In fact, I can only imagine that it would be an astounding number. I have got to learn how to stop this and learn to just, "Let go, and let God" (yes, my reference from yesterday). 


I found a couple of really great Bible verses that speak volumes to me. 


Matthew 6:25-27  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?

This to me says that I have wasted enough time worrying- it's not going to help me live any better, or any longer, and that life should be lived spiritual more than physical. I may as well enjoy the time I've got and breathe.


Philippians 4:6-7  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Looks like I have some work to do. I can't help shake this feeling that I am doing some serious inner review on myself and God has a front row seat. I am ashamed to admit that my life has to start falling apart for me to turn to him, but it also makes me wonder if it is falling apart so I do turn to him.